Honeymoon STILL in progress

Double Trouble Designs, on Etsy
When I was a kid, my parents totally hid their intimacy. Therefore, we kids got the impression that one's sexual life ended when one was married and had kids. In fact, the lack of show drove home the point that the media made-- that if you want to have any sex life at all, you need to start NOW in high school because once you are past your mid twenties, sex is over. I mean, even in movies old people didn't kiss. (That has changed somewhat in the last ten years PTL)

As my children were growing up I contemplated how the social mores I picked up played a part in promiscuity in teens and young 20s. I pinpointed the above lesson that had been inadvertently taught me. And I decided that I had to give my kids a totally different message.

Who goes on regular dates? Who is seen going to bed together? In your home, is it only the glamorous movie stars who all look perfectly forever 21?  Or is it mom and dad? Every night. Once mom and dad have gone to bed and shut the door, someone better be on fire if you disturb them for at least the first hour. The kids see that married people have the best, most fulfilling sex lives.

We have always had a "nap" on Sunday afternoons (and most of the time we really sleep). We told the children that coarse, rude joking and laughing about sex was disrespectful and childish. We have a family bedroom with our 8 yo and 6yo still, and my 13yo daughter regularly invites her sisters to come have a sleepover in her room as she wiggles her eyebrows at her dad and I, wink wink nudge nudge.

Seeing our sex life as their sex education-- they don't know any specifics of what we do or how we do it, but they know that this is what adults who are happily married spend their time doing-- gives me a certain purpose too. As a wife, this is what I'm teaching my daughters a wife IS. I can't use sex as a weapon against my husband. I can't complain about their dad, disrespect him, dishonor him. I am a model! I want them to have great marriages, so I model it for them. I therefore end up having a great marriage, too.

We are coming up on our 20th anniversary this year, and our honeymoon is STILL in progress. We are planning a Second Honeymoon trip to Europe for late winter. I was looking on the web for a great photo to go with this post, and came across Double Trouble Designs.  They have beautiful work-- custom invites and door hangers.  I contacted them and asked if we could have a "Honeymoon STILL in progress" door hanger, and if maybe they'd participate in a GIVEAWAY with me.  The ladies were super nice and helpful, and look what they made me:

And this is the giveaway.  You can have one of these old married peoples' door knockers, too.

a Rafflecopter giveaway


Missus Wookie said...

That sign makes me laugh. Yep, we've always worked on the basis that we wanted our kids to know that sex is part of a marriage and a joy for both of us.

Looking forward to meeting you when you get to London :)

Chloe said...

This is such an important issue, Amy. It staggers my imagination when I hear Christian married couples worrying that showing affection will make kids today want to have sex. WHAT!!?! Do they have their heads in the sand or something?

Kids today are surrounded by sex. They are surrounded by young people, unmarried sex. The Christian married people are busy being all modest, which isn't a bad thing, but when you contrast all that modesty against what Hollywood would have us all believe is a rockin' sex life then which one do you think kids want?

Do they want a "modest" (read: sexless) marriage, or do they want the thrilling sex that the media says goes with being young and unmarried?

I find it hilarious that we tell kids to wait for marriage and then show them that there is nothing there worth waiting for.

Kara said...

I love the sign Amy! And great post!

Carolyn said...

Love it 21 years here!

Les Kertay said...

I'm so glad to find someone posting about being open about sex with children; it's such an important topic - too important to leave to chance or the media. What better way to understand the joy of staying attuned to your marriage than by example.

I was writing about men and how/what we learned about sex and relationships earlier today, when I came across your post. Thanks so much for putting it out there!


Kathy said...

Love the Sunday "naps"! and I think it does our children good to see that mom and dad love each other and are affectionate.

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