Yes I know it's not Saturday. I didn't get around to making a menu plan yesterday. Thankfully there are leftovers.
Sometimes it's all I can do to point them in the general direction of the kitchen and say "go for it." At my house, even a very small child can manage to not starve herself. My 4yo can make a peanut butter and jelly on bread or tortillas, get herself an apple, and even help herself to carrots and cheese sticks. I know, because I find the cheese stick wrappers under the living room chair and the tortilla bag is *always* unzipped. (Costco, why do you bother to make a zip-close bag for tortillas?)
Last week I had a menu plan and cooked every day. [applause]
It's mostly because I have a university Applied Language Institute student living with us now, and his room and board money is actually for having a hot meal available every night. So don't go thinking I've turned into some kind of Supermom. I've just picked up a part time job that involves cooking a meal each night in my own kitchen.
So.
I've menu planned most of my marriage. I have "once-a-month-cooked" off and on throughout the years, most of it between 2 and 5 children. I have used crock pots occasionally, but it's not something that makes people here cheer. I even once did the "meal prep" thing-- you know, you go and have some wine and assemble a months' worth of main dishes and take them home to cook later? All of them have their benefits and their deficits...
Menu planning fails when life doesn't act as planned. Most of the time, though, Menu planning helps create order and peace for me, so this is my first weapon in Meal Management.
OAMC failed when we had such a large group to feed, small freezer space, and I was too exhausted with babies to stand in the kitchen a whole day. I'll still make a double batch sometimes and freeze half for later.... but honestly I just budget in frozen meals from Costco at least once a week. I have to buy 2 meals to feed us all now... so eventually I guess I have to make lasagne from scratch. (Nahhhh)
Crock pot was a fail when we could smell wires burning while using it. Electrical engineer husband forbade me from using such a fire hazard again. I think it was just *our* house's wiring- yours is probably safe. My dh lets me leave food cooking in my cast iron dutch oven, so he's not totally paranoid or anything. I am not keen to leave it on the gas burner for fear of the fire going out and the gas filling the house, so I'll heat up the electric oven and put the dutch oven in there. It works for me for times I just need to cook something overnight or while we're at church.
Better stop writing and go down and make sure people have had dinner: all the leftovers out of the fridge and on the breakfast bar like a buffet- or a trough- and make a menu plan for next week.
Seven Quick Takes
1. I did something I've never done before, this morning. When the JWs rang the doorbell, instead of telling them I am not interested, I invited them into the foyer and chatted with them for several minutes, asking them to share with me what gives them the most hope in their faith and then shared with them what gives me the most hope about my faith. Then I prayed for them right there, out loud, that God would be with them as they pursued the hope of Jesus Christ.
2. Now I wonder what they really thought of that.
3. My teen's iPhone 3G turned up lost or stolen yesterday at school. This led to my discovery of these things that could have helped us trace it if we'd known to install them on his phone.
4. The person at school most able and interested in helping you look for your lost/stolen phone is the security guard at the metal detector. To my son, she "just sits there all day, what can she do?" But I always make chitchat with her for a few minutes when I go to the school, and I observed that she sees every phone. Each student lays their phone down on her table before going through the metal detector. She's now watching for an iPhone 3G in an Otterbox, and plans to demand any iPhones she sees today be turned on and proven ID.
5. It's a half day at school, and my kids and the kids on the block are filming. I'll post the movie if/when they finish it.
6. My oldest is a Silver Key award winner from Scholastic Arts & Writing competition.
7. There are quite a few interesting things linked over at WFMW.
2. Now I wonder what they really thought of that.
3. My teen's iPhone 3G turned up lost or stolen yesterday at school. This led to my discovery of these things that could have helped us trace it if we'd known to install them on his phone.
4. The person at school most able and interested in helping you look for your lost/stolen phone is the security guard at the metal detector. To my son, she "just sits there all day, what can she do?" But I always make chitchat with her for a few minutes when I go to the school, and I observed that she sees every phone. Each student lays their phone down on her table before going through the metal detector. She's now watching for an iPhone 3G in an Otterbox, and plans to demand any iPhones she sees today be turned on and proven ID.
5. It's a half day at school, and my kids and the kids on the block are filming. I'll post the movie if/when they finish it.
6. My oldest is a Silver Key award winner from Scholastic Arts & Writing competition.
7. There are quite a few interesting things linked over at WFMW.
Waste-Not Wednesday: Food Edition
One of my saddest areas of waste is food. I hate wasting food. I grew up in a home where food was precious- it just was not wasted. I remember going out after school in the spring to pick strawberries- oh, I was such a lucky girl, usually having all the strawberries I could possibly eat! For about 4 weeks anyway. My kids have not experienced such luxury- we tried, but Austin was not prime strawberry climate. Now we're in KC and hoping to dig in some strawberries as ground cover...
Back to wasting food. Did you know that the most nutritious part of the strawberry is its green top? And it's perfectly edible? I didn't either! Strawberries are just so good for you, so plant plenty. And try the tops. They count for leafy greens! My friend who passed on this tidbit of info says it's easy to incorporate the tops into a green smoothie. She also blogged about food waste, so check her out.
Now what was I talking about? Wasting food. Some of my tips:
1. Don't make tons more than you need. I'll stick to a main dish and not overdo it, but fill in with bread and butter, and veggies, to fill their tummies. I don't want leftovers to waste, so I try not to have many.
2. Do plan. A meal plan helps so much. But plan smart- a whole chicken on day 1, then boil the carcass to make soup on day 2, and use leftover bits to make a chicken salad or chicken nachos for lunch. If you don't plan to use everything, more will be wasted. Keep leftover veggies in a container to make free soup.
3. Serve the kids SMALL portions on their plates. I rarely give my kids more than a dollop of anything, and just a tablespoon of veggies. They aren't overwhelmed by "all those veggies" and I can convince them to "just eat them first!" They won't scrape their plate into the trash if their plate wasn't over-full. They will also only eat what they NEED, rather than finishing a plate just because you piled it high.
4. Seriously- cook what they like. Why bother spending time and money on food that they aren't going to eat? I have things I like to eat that they don't- I save those things for girl dates, since it's usually girl food. Let them have their kid food and man food, and treat yourself to girl dates for girl food.
Back to wasting food. Did you know that the most nutritious part of the strawberry is its green top? And it's perfectly edible? I didn't either! Strawberries are just so good for you, so plant plenty. And try the tops. They count for leafy greens! My friend who passed on this tidbit of info says it's easy to incorporate the tops into a green smoothie. She also blogged about food waste, so check her out.
Now what was I talking about? Wasting food. Some of my tips:
1. Don't make tons more than you need. I'll stick to a main dish and not overdo it, but fill in with bread and butter, and veggies, to fill their tummies. I don't want leftovers to waste, so I try not to have many.
2. Do plan. A meal plan helps so much. But plan smart- a whole chicken on day 1, then boil the carcass to make soup on day 2, and use leftover bits to make a chicken salad or chicken nachos for lunch. If you don't plan to use everything, more will be wasted. Keep leftover veggies in a container to make free soup.
3. Serve the kids SMALL portions on their plates. I rarely give my kids more than a dollop of anything, and just a tablespoon of veggies. They aren't overwhelmed by "all those veggies" and I can convince them to "just eat them first!" They won't scrape their plate into the trash if their plate wasn't over-full. They will also only eat what they NEED, rather than finishing a plate just because you piled it high.
4. Seriously- cook what they like. Why bother spending time and money on food that they aren't going to eat? I have things I like to eat that they don't- I save those things for girl dates, since it's usually girl food. Let them have their kid food and man food, and treat yourself to girl dates for girl food.
Listen to the children
for the love of learning: What we have here is a failure to communicate: "Teaching children how to communicate is not an easy task. The proof might lay in how utterly ineffective many adults are at communicating with their peers, colleagues or even spouses - the truth is, many adults haven't developed the kinds of communication skills necessary to hold a job, advocate for their children or self, or to avoid unnecessary conflicts and confusion."
Found this article formative. I mean, he went on to talk about how we will make assumptions of our kids based on poor communication. "They are lying to us, and we need to punish them for lying," for example, when the truth is the child is answering us truthfully - just to a different question. He says, "The problem wasn't that she was lying. The problem was that her answer (No) was not for my question (did you have fun?). Her answer was for a question I never asked but one she was thinking of (do you want to leave?).
So I've been using this idea lately. I stop to consider my kids before I open my mouth (ok, in a perfect world I do), making my communication to them more clear. Look at the world through their eyes for a moment. Put myself in their shoes. Ok, usually I have to backtrack. I heard an answer I wasn't expecting or didn't like.... stop! Don't assume, think. Is she maybe answering a question I didn't think of, but it's in HER head?
"Did you do your homework?" "Yes" (when it's not done)
Maybe I should have asked, "Do you think homework is a silly waste of your time and you'd rather decompress and have some playtime after a long day at school?"
"Are you going to make mom force you to do those math lessons this morning, young lady?"
What kind of question is this one? The one I hear from homeschool moms frequently- I mean, I actually hear homeschool moms tell me that they give their kids one chance to finish a page of work before they spank! Or just that they argue for an hour over one silly math page. I said it myself plenty of times. "Is this math page meaningful to you? Do you understand why it's important to me for you to do this math?" Maybe she's waiting for me to say THAT.
How about this famous scenario from my house: "Did you leave that wrapper on the floor?" "No."
Alternatives:
"Would you please pick up that wrapper on the floor? I know you were eating that snack and that wrapper seems to have found itself on the floor." (Uh oh, what if she still says no? Am I looking for a power play?)
"Do you want to clean up after yourself?" (At least the "no" would be honest!")
Sometimes I need to remember not to ask a question at all~
"I know you were eating that snack, and the wrapper has been abandoned- oh poor wrapper!- on the floor. I am sure you mean to pick up after yourself, big kid like you! Let's get the wrapper- one, two, three, WHEEE!" Yes, I know plenty of you are rolling your eyes at this display of my mediocrity as a parent... but you know what? I haven't had to spank my 4 year old, ever. And I used to spank my oldest when he was 4, multiple times a day, because I had been taught to simply say, "Pick up that mess" and then spank when the kid didn't do it immediately. Guess what an adversarial relationship with a teen, 15 years later, feels like? It sucks. It's not worth it. And this way gets me the same result- kid picking up her mess- while keeping our relationship of me being the guidance and her being the learner, intact. It's that simple.
What about the other example he quoted in his blog post? Where the little boy is the one asking questions (and the mother answers dismissively which I totally recognize in myself). What do you think about the interpretation that the boy is casing the joint, deciding whether it's a place to feel secure and nurtured as opposed to judged and labeled. Do I put judgements and labels on my kids? Oh I'm sure I do. Inadvertently through not listening or not communicating-- and also blatantly just through exhaustion and annoyance. Yes, I said that out loud. I'm human like the rest of you, and sometimes the kids just exhaust and yes, annoy me. This is what I fight against- I mean, really? I'm the adult here. Can't I look beyond myself and not let my inquisitive, energetic, effusive kids annoy me?
Leading, discipling, nurturing children is 9 parts getting up off your butt and listening to them, and 1 part taking time for yourself.
Found this article formative. I mean, he went on to talk about how we will make assumptions of our kids based on poor communication. "They are lying to us, and we need to punish them for lying," for example, when the truth is the child is answering us truthfully - just to a different question. He says, "The problem wasn't that she was lying. The problem was that her answer (No) was not for my question (did you have fun?). Her answer was for a question I never asked but one she was thinking of (do you want to leave?).
So I've been using this idea lately. I stop to consider my kids before I open my mouth (ok, in a perfect world I do), making my communication to them more clear. Look at the world through their eyes for a moment. Put myself in their shoes. Ok, usually I have to backtrack. I heard an answer I wasn't expecting or didn't like.... stop! Don't assume, think. Is she maybe answering a question I didn't think of, but it's in HER head?
"Did you do your homework?" "Yes" (when it's not done)
Maybe I should have asked, "Do you think homework is a silly waste of your time and you'd rather decompress and have some playtime after a long day at school?"
"Are you going to make mom force you to do those math lessons this morning, young lady?"
What kind of question is this one? The one I hear from homeschool moms frequently- I mean, I actually hear homeschool moms tell me that they give their kids one chance to finish a page of work before they spank! Or just that they argue for an hour over one silly math page. I said it myself plenty of times. "Is this math page meaningful to you? Do you understand why it's important to me for you to do this math?" Maybe she's waiting for me to say THAT.
How about this famous scenario from my house: "Did you leave that wrapper on the floor?" "No."
Alternatives:
"Would you please pick up that wrapper on the floor? I know you were eating that snack and that wrapper seems to have found itself on the floor." (Uh oh, what if she still says no? Am I looking for a power play?)
"Do you want to clean up after yourself?" (At least the "no" would be honest!")
Sometimes I need to remember not to ask a question at all~
"I know you were eating that snack, and the wrapper has been abandoned- oh poor wrapper!- on the floor. I am sure you mean to pick up after yourself, big kid like you! Let's get the wrapper- one, two, three, WHEEE!" Yes, I know plenty of you are rolling your eyes at this display of my mediocrity as a parent... but you know what? I haven't had to spank my 4 year old, ever. And I used to spank my oldest when he was 4, multiple times a day, because I had been taught to simply say, "Pick up that mess" and then spank when the kid didn't do it immediately. Guess what an adversarial relationship with a teen, 15 years later, feels like? It sucks. It's not worth it. And this way gets me the same result- kid picking up her mess- while keeping our relationship of me being the guidance and her being the learner, intact. It's that simple.
What about the other example he quoted in his blog post? Where the little boy is the one asking questions (and the mother answers dismissively which I totally recognize in myself). What do you think about the interpretation that the boy is casing the joint, deciding whether it's a place to feel secure and nurtured as opposed to judged and labeled. Do I put judgements and labels on my kids? Oh I'm sure I do. Inadvertently through not listening or not communicating-- and also blatantly just through exhaustion and annoyance. Yes, I said that out loud. I'm human like the rest of you, and sometimes the kids just exhaust and yes, annoy me. This is what I fight against- I mean, really? I'm the adult here. Can't I look beyond myself and not let my inquisitive, energetic, effusive kids annoy me?
Leading, discipling, nurturing children is 9 parts getting up off your butt and listening to them, and 1 part taking time for yourself.
On marriage and murder rates
For me, loving the city, with respect to mission, has more to do with things like:
(1) Fighting for marriage."The marriage rate for African Americans has been dropping since the 1960s, and today, we have the lowest marriage rate of any racial group in the United States. In 2001, according to the U.S. Census, 43.3 percent of black men and 41.9 percent of black women in America had never been married, in contrast to 27.4 percent and 20.7 percent respectively for whites. African American women are the least likely in our society to marry. In the period between 1970 and 2001, the overall marriage rate in the United States declined by 17 percent; but for blacks, it fell by 34 percent."
The above quote is from this blog and is the first of a list that includes also fighting against abortion and foster care, ethnic violence, substandard education, self-medicating with drugs and alcohol, fighting HIV/AIDS, and increasing employment; the "most pressing issues that are destroying cities.
How do we even begin to address this issue, when history tells us that the problem goes back hundreds of years? When blacks were enslaved there was no legal marriage, black men were emasculated and removed from the role of father and husband, and black women were built into a role of self-preservation.
If there is any way to heal this racially divided community- please help us. Can we repair what was done to the black man in America? Is there anything I can do to restore families here?
What is it about marriage that seems to stabilize a culture, anyway? I know it's not a piece of paper signed- divorce is rampant. What is it about relationships- stable, loving relationships- that effect change? How can we hope to lower crime in the community by influencing marriages?
http://bradley.chattablogs.com/archives/2011/01/on-loving-2-ver.html
The Lost German Slave Girl: The Extraordinary True Story of Sally Miller and Her Fight for Freedom in Old New Orleans
Bedtime works for me!
So this video is being passed around. People saying it's so funny and true! It's a dad who has made up a song to Pachelbel's Canon in D about how hard it is to put kids to bed. Meh. I had to turn it off when it got to the "tear up your behinds."
Bedtime works for me.
My kids are usually up past "bedtime" because I'm too busy with one of them to tell the rest to go bed, because they're waiting for ME to come pray with them (sometimes til they fall asleep without me) or because I'm having too much fun playing with them or reading to them and don't realize how late it's gotten. On days when I really am ready to be "off" I just tell them "goodnight, I'm going to bed!" and they put themselves to bed.... eventually. For a while it seemed like I never knew who would be in what bed in the morning. I'd find kids under beds, behind the couch, or all snuggled up in one bed. Sometimes they still lay in bed next to me and then I move them after they are asleep. And this week while daddy was out of town I let all 3 girls sleep with me- even though I got conked in the head by a pink cast several times through the night.
I guess I used to feel like the songwriter more when my oldest was only 5 or 6, but then again, they were pretty good about going to sleep even back then. I usually read to them, prayed and gave a blessing, then sat next to them for the short time it took them to fall asleep. Yes, I sat with them while they fell asleep. I also nursed them to sleep as long as I could (one to age 4) or rocked early-weaners to sleep in a rocking chair, even for hours at a time. I kept a certain mindset- Parenting doesn't turn off at night. And now, the "long" evenings getting some of them to sleep are just distant memories, cherished memories.
Still, my ideal date night was one in which I simply left the house with my man while someone else put them all to sleep. It didn't matter where we went or what we did as long as the kids were asleep when I got home! So I KNOW I was always glad for a respite! But now that my "baby" is 4, and our bedtime routine no longer includes any rocking, I understand how short is the time. So for today, I tuck in my 4yo and 7yo girls and know it won't last much longer. In case you have to fill in for me some night, for Eden it's first the pink fleece one, then the Papa comforter, then the triangle one, then the Grannie afghan, and on top the biggier, heavier purple afghan which she calls the "scratchy blanket" even though it's just as soft as any other. Belen's blankets go: green fleece, flannet coverlet, Papa comforter, Grannie afghan, then Great-Grandma's afghan. And don't forget to tuck around their feet.
Bedtime works for me.
My kids are usually up past "bedtime" because I'm too busy with one of them to tell the rest to go bed, because they're waiting for ME to come pray with them (sometimes til they fall asleep without me) or because I'm having too much fun playing with them or reading to them and don't realize how late it's gotten. On days when I really am ready to be "off" I just tell them "goodnight, I'm going to bed!" and they put themselves to bed.... eventually. For a while it seemed like I never knew who would be in what bed in the morning. I'd find kids under beds, behind the couch, or all snuggled up in one bed. Sometimes they still lay in bed next to me and then I move them after they are asleep. And this week while daddy was out of town I let all 3 girls sleep with me- even though I got conked in the head by a pink cast several times through the night.
I guess I used to feel like the songwriter more when my oldest was only 5 or 6, but then again, they were pretty good about going to sleep even back then. I usually read to them, prayed and gave a blessing, then sat next to them for the short time it took them to fall asleep. Yes, I sat with them while they fell asleep. I also nursed them to sleep as long as I could (one to age 4) or rocked early-weaners to sleep in a rocking chair, even for hours at a time. I kept a certain mindset- Parenting doesn't turn off at night. And now, the "long" evenings getting some of them to sleep are just distant memories, cherished memories.
Still, my ideal date night was one in which I simply left the house with my man while someone else put them all to sleep. It didn't matter where we went or what we did as long as the kids were asleep when I got home! So I KNOW I was always glad for a respite! But now that my "baby" is 4, and our bedtime routine no longer includes any rocking, I understand how short is the time. So for today, I tuck in my 4yo and 7yo girls and know it won't last much longer. In case you have to fill in for me some night, for Eden it's first the pink fleece one, then the Papa comforter, then the triangle one, then the Grannie afghan, and on top the biggier, heavier purple afghan which she calls the "scratchy blanket" even though it's just as soft as any other. Belen's blankets go: green fleece, flannet coverlet, Papa comforter, Grannie afghan, then Great-Grandma's afghan. And don't forget to tuck around their feet.
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