Modesty, my opinion.

The self-righteous attitude behind the new modesty movement makes my heart incredibly heavy with sorrow and pity for those caught in it.  I understand where it comes from, because I was there once.  This attitude shows someone who is spending entirely too much time worrying about the sins of other people while congratulating herself that she's not like them.  "Thank you Lord, that I'm not like those sinners."

Seriously?!

There is so much judgement about what is modest enough-  and the funny thing is that each religious group (and even non-religious) has its own set of modesty standards.  For instance, my son was filling out an application for a job at a place that locals say is owned by Christians, because the live concerts that happen there tend to be CCM. My research shows it's owned by the huge equity group that owns American Idol, but whatever.  They have a multiple page document on what constitutes acceptable appearance-  the rules they have for "decent appearance" would exclude both my husband and I from working there, as well as my pastor's wife and most of the people from my church.  My son only can still qualify because he's too young for tats, piercings, and doesn't mind buzzing his hair for the summer.

Burka to bikini, someone will complain about what women are wearing.  The denim jumper, the matching cape dresses, Catholic girl school uniforms, the length of skirts from fingertip length to ankle length, even the size of the heels of a woman's shoe or her make-up.... and look at the variety of head coverings from little white lace caps, plain cotton cloth, flowing beautiful scarves, to the full hijab. France outlaws the wearing of religious garb that covers the face; so do many other countries such as Turkey. People laugh at women who dress like this too-  Christians laugh. I hear Christian pastors make fun of Mormons' and Muslims' modesty rules, yet turn around and give modesty rules to their own women ("spaghetti straps are just not sleeves").

Now that it's summer again, I see comments on Facebook and forums from women about "those women in bikinis" and how they have to worry about covering their young boys' eyes.  I always roll my eyes, frankly, over "those women."  THOSE women. Like me? You know, maybe when I wear a bikini it's just because I love to experience God's creations-  the feel of the sun on my skin, the wind and the surf.  It feels different.  That's WHY I'm at the beach- it's a full experience. Maybe I'm not really worried about what others think or say, because I'm just capturing the moment.  And as far as I can tell, my kids are too.  Catching the moment and the wave.

South Padre Island with my family 

See, as far as I can see it, if I think I'll be bothered by what I will see, or what my kids will see, I JUST DON'T GO.  I stick to places that I know we'll feel more comfortable.  The pool during the day is pretty much empty; you have it for yourself... the others are at school or work.  The beach we went to was pretty much all ours that October day, too.  I put a pool in my own backyard (as low as a couple hundred dollars, for one big enough to float and splash with littles, about the price of the family membership to the public pool). If you don't think that Christian women should be unclothed at the beach then why are you there? Just don't go.

YOU don't get to decide how other people relate to God.  YOU only get to follow him for yourself.  You don't get to make rules, even based on a Bible verse, for other people.  And you don't get to smack anyone around with your religion to make them feel like they need to obey your rules.

And you don't get to blame anyone else on your son's heart. Ok, I get that little kids call people in swimsuits "naked"-  but he also calls all 4 legged creatures "dog" until we teach him otherwise.  My kids also called people naked if they were wearing a sleeveless shirt-  that doesn't mean they have some Spiritual secret, it means they have a limited vocabulary and a very short understanding of the world.  Back when my boys were preschoolers, in my home, we wore "modest" clothing-- shapeless sacks of dresses that reminded me every day of how good and holy I was, so much holier than everyone else, that I must love the Lord more than "those people" do.  My kids were being raised to standards that kept them separate... separate from anyone who may want to get near enough to actually get to know JESUS.  Of course they wouldn't find Jesus in our presence-- they'd only find a religion based on my favorite Bible verses.

Instead, as I've grown I've learned something--  Proclaiming that you are modest is like proclaiming you are humble.  The minute you bring it to someone's attention you've broken the modesty.   And while your mind is burning with your righteous anger at the naked heathens, you're suffering from something worse than immodesty-- you suffer from pride.

At some point I learned that my purpose in life is not to call others to my standards.  My purpose is to walk with Jesus, talk to Jesus, and let him rule MY heart.  To teach my own children to walk with Him, to talk to Him and let Him rule their hearts.  To be so full of HIS love that it oozes from our pores, that it comes into every action and every person near us can smell His sweet aroma.  If His love in me brings about a certain change in me, it's to His glory.... and if it changes anyone else near me, it's especially to HIS glory.

My God is too big for me to limit Him with my rules and standards that I have made up from picking out Bible verses that speak to me.  It absolutely cannot be what He intended, this hand-picking of Bible verses.  His Word is complete only when it is taken as a whole.  It's not a rule book- it's just not.  And Christianity is not a religion- religion is idolatry.  Christianity is being a little Christ, His working through us in the world.  Immanuel- God with us.

This opens our children's hearts to Him-  and it gathers others towards Him.

Religion repels people. Smug self-righteousness repels people, especially.  Frail humanity is what makes Jesus different from false Gods and false religions, and His grace and mercy that draw us and cover us no matter who we are, no matter what we've done, as long as we confess to Him that we can't do it on our own anymore and must lay down our sins and shames at His cross and accept His pure gift of love. Mercy. Grace.  Nothing I do makes me righteous- nothing but Him in me, through me, and for me. Even if I am in a bikini.