Seven Kids and Noise

The day we all left for Spring Break and left our boarding foreign student home alone, he posted to Facebook, "I am so lonely, sitting here with three cats."  He then stated that he needed some companionship.  Eight days later, we had unloaded and I'd put away most of the kitchen things when he walked in from a late study session- he BEAMED and gave me a big hug.   Three days later, he told me that "I love your family, but I need a nap in the afternoon." And he asked me how soon could he maybe move into the garage apartment.

I'm sort of giggling.  I know that the house, especially in the afternoon, is boisterous. But at the same time, I cringe to imagine what it would be like if each of my  kids were individually as loud as some others  I've known....And once again a mom of a toddler is asking on a forum, "How do I teach my one year old not to be so loud?"

Why is it that some babies just SCREAM and squeal and cry more loudly than others? I'm not entirely sure, but I know that they do.  I'm all for healthy expression....  but that's why I teach my kids to "take it down a notch."  So that their expression is healthful for ALL of us. Because after all, we have to live with each other, so it's only fair, right?

I start with myself.  Is it necessary to holler across the house to someone? Or can I actually take my feet until I can see the whites of their eyes? Am I unnecessarily loud?

The environment: what noises can be muffled?  Should there be some acoustical treatment in the room? Music and TV do not need and should not be played continuously-  and when they are, they don't always need be loud. You can really turn down a movie if you turn on the closed captions. Use the knob that goes to 11, and set it to 2-3.

Speaking of 2-3, I play a game with the kids pretty early on-- the volume game.  We SING VERY LOUDLY, LOUDLY, LOUDLY, then we sing very softly, softly, softly. We play whisper whisper.  We look at the knob and turn it 1-2-3-etc up to as loud as they can stand, usually no more than 7.  Then-- when they are too loud I can say "OH you are at a 7! Take it down to 3 please."  We talk about appropriate volume-- in church we do 1-2, in the house 2-3. Lecturing is 4. Outside is 5-7, but frankly the neighbors should not have to listen to you all the time so if you are near each other try the 2-3. One of my son's teachers tells the kids to use their "6 inch voice" which refers to how loud you have to be so that someone standing 6 inches away can hear you.

All this, and I still have to monitor volume constantly. Immaturity is all about the inability to really imagine anything from some other point of view-  so until they grow up, you will have to remind them.