So my submission was: Moms, Your Mission Starts Here.
Seven Kids Christmas: Top Seven Ways Mom Deals
Merry Christmas!
Top Seven Ways a mom with seven kids deals with holidays:
7. Keep expectations on gifts low. We only fill stockings! We have very stretchy hand knit stockings from Grannie, so I can still be quite creative. I keep the stocking stuffers down to just a few things. I rarely put any candy in them (see #6). I don't do extravagance, usually purchasing from clearance shelves all year long to build my stash. I even have filled their stockings with things found at garage sales, thrift stores, and flea markets as well as handmade items. The money we save is then given to someone who actually needs it (see #4).
6. Keep candy/sugar to a minimum. Sugar hinders natural immune function, and who wants to pass illness around a large family? Sugar can make them hyper. We all know this stuff. It's not like I give no sugar~ I just try to keep it sane. I also counter it with lots of cinnamon and cloves, which goes in everything from their morning oatmeal, muffins and pies to our daily wassail. I purchase gallons of apple cider and keep it on the stove with 5 cinnamon sticks and 25 whole cloves infusing it. At night it gets turned off and just left on the stove (it's amazing how fast it cools off when there's only an inch left, and the kitchen is only 50 degrees at night) and in the morning, I refill the pot and turn it on. I add 1 small can of pineapple juice and slice 1 orange for each gallon of apple cider. The kids eat the oranges in the evening. The cinnamon and cloves just sit in the pot for tomorrow.
5. Give Presence. Rather than busy myself with shopping, I find things to do with them. I've collected holiday-themed or inspired books and bring them out with the decorations, and then read aloud from them every night. I let them help with baking and cleaning so that we're spending time together. We plan building a gingerbread house, going roller skating, going to look at lights and even caroling.
4. Focus on the future and other families. We pick a charity to sponsor for the next year. A couple years ago it was Advent Conspiracy and Living Water which we had also sponsored in 2005. Last year we focused on orphans with gifts to Amazima and worldwide self-sufficiency with Trade As One. This year we're focused on our own neighborhood with gifts to Operation Breakthrough and involvement with Troost Village.
3. Keep the T.V. off. Oh my kids are allowed nearly unlimited/self-regulated screen time. We just avoid broadcast stuff that is riddled with ads. Ads don't help self-control at all.
2. Plan meals. Just do it. Knowing what you're having for dinner just eliminates so much stress.
1. Pray. I've been starting my days this year by reading a portion of one of the Four Gospels, just getting to know Jesus. And then I pray. This was really, really hard to implement when the kids were all little, I admit! I didn't do it daily by any means; but when I did I promise, things went more smoothly. Among the little things I did to help myself was to print out or write out Scriptures and post them on the mirror, the kitchen cabinet faces, the computer monitor.
Have a blessed Christmas and a Happy New Year!
7. Keep expectations on gifts low. We only fill stockings! We have very stretchy hand knit stockings from Grannie, so I can still be quite creative. I keep the stocking stuffers down to just a few things. I rarely put any candy in them (see #6). I don't do extravagance, usually purchasing from clearance shelves all year long to build my stash. I even have filled their stockings with things found at garage sales, thrift stores, and flea markets as well as handmade items. The money we save is then given to someone who actually needs it (see #4).
6. Keep candy/sugar to a minimum. Sugar hinders natural immune function, and who wants to pass illness around a large family? Sugar can make them hyper. We all know this stuff. It's not like I give no sugar~ I just try to keep it sane. I also counter it with lots of cinnamon and cloves, which goes in everything from their morning oatmeal, muffins and pies to our daily wassail. I purchase gallons of apple cider and keep it on the stove with 5 cinnamon sticks and 25 whole cloves infusing it. At night it gets turned off and just left on the stove (it's amazing how fast it cools off when there's only an inch left, and the kitchen is only 50 degrees at night) and in the morning, I refill the pot and turn it on. I add 1 small can of pineapple juice and slice 1 orange for each gallon of apple cider. The kids eat the oranges in the evening. The cinnamon and cloves just sit in the pot for tomorrow.
5. Give Presence. Rather than busy myself with shopping, I find things to do with them. I've collected holiday-themed or inspired books and bring them out with the decorations, and then read aloud from them every night. I let them help with baking and cleaning so that we're spending time together. We plan building a gingerbread house, going roller skating, going to look at lights and even caroling.
4. Focus on the future and other families. We pick a charity to sponsor for the next year. A couple years ago it was Advent Conspiracy and Living Water which we had also sponsored in 2005. Last year we focused on orphans with gifts to Amazima and worldwide self-sufficiency with Trade As One. This year we're focused on our own neighborhood with gifts to Operation Breakthrough and involvement with Troost Village.
3. Keep the T.V. off. Oh my kids are allowed nearly unlimited/self-regulated screen time. We just avoid broadcast stuff that is riddled with ads. Ads don't help self-control at all.
2. Plan meals. Just do it. Knowing what you're having for dinner just eliminates so much stress.
1. Pray. I've been starting my days this year by reading a portion of one of the Four Gospels, just getting to know Jesus. And then I pray. This was really, really hard to implement when the kids were all little, I admit! I didn't do it daily by any means; but when I did I promise, things went more smoothly. Among the little things I did to help myself was to print out or write out Scriptures and post them on the mirror, the kitchen cabinet faces, the computer monitor.
Have a blessed Christmas and a Happy New Year!
A Sister for her Birthday
When Bethany was 4, her brothers were 9, 7, 6 and 2. She came up to me one day in the early Spring and said, "Mommy, Jesus said I could have a sister for my birthday." I of course, busy mom that I am, said "Uh huh, that's nice honey. No guarantees." She nodded her head sagely and said, "I am going to have a sister for my birthday." I paid a little more attention then, a little alarmed~ "You know your birthday is a really long time away right? You only just had your birthday a couple months ago." She smiled, "I know that, Momma! But Jesus said I could have a sister for my birthday." I tried to reason with her, explaining that babies didn't just come on demand... she looked at me with a sort of sad pity at my cluelessness, and ran off to play.
A few months later, I was obliviously living my frantic life when one by one, friends started insisting I was pregnant. I denied their proclamations for weeks. Until one day, a gal asked me point blank, "When was your last period?" It was much later that I realized the connection: my last period had been somewhere around the time that I had the above conversation with Bethany. By the time summer was in full swing, I had a due date: Christmas Eve.
That fall Bethany had a chance to participate in a homeschool co-op "Worship Dance" class for nearly free, as I bartered the tuition. She had so much joy in dancing. She'd been singing and dancing since she became verbal and upright, but I'd put it down to being a girl. Her holiday recital was scheduled for the night of her 5th birthday. Jacob was in a play that happened the week before. Jeff, as usual, had the Christmas musical at church which was the same week before. In fact, I looked at my calendar on Dec. 1, and there was a class, event, rehearsal or party scheduled every day through Dec 20. Some days were double booked, like having friends over for cupcakes immediately before Bethany's recital. Then there was Christmas Eve service, Christmas Day of course, and then Jeff had a wedding to do Dec. 27. I wasn't sure where to fit a birth in! I showed my calendar to my mother in law and said, "I guess I have the 21st free."
As I waddled around getting Bethany's dance costume ready while putting candles on her cake, she actually wondered aloud where her present was. I laughed and told her this was one present she surely wanted to be late, or she'd miss her recital.
As it was, five days after her fifth birthday, Bethany woke up to find her new baby sister. The night of Dec. 20, I'd settled down to watch a movie with Jeff, knowing I had the next 4 days "off" and wanting nothing more than to rest. I was as uncomfortable as any woman in her 9th month, but realistically I'd had the last baby nearly 2 weeks late so I was not expecting much. I wouldn't have been surprised to have a January baby. I fell asleep during the movie, but woke around 1:45 a.m. to a thump feeling just under my ribcage and an audible rubber-band-snapping sound. I woke Jeff and told him I thought my water had broken. He sort of watched me for the next
twenty minutes trying to decide if labor was starting before he started assembling my birth pool and filling it. That took him most of the next hour before he could settle me into the warm water. Then he watched me for about 15 minutes to make sure the warm water didn't stall labor, before he decided to call his mom to let her know I was in labor: Belen was born about the time Mom answered her phone. That baby cried for an hour, solid, so surprised was she by her sudden appearance.
But since then she has been as easy going and accommodating as she was arriving like she did, easily, just hours after my last appointment and at the beginning of my four days "off" so as to least inconvenience anyone. And she's always loved knowing that she was a very special, sought after and prayed for, birthday gift for her big sister.
I'll have a Blue Christmas?
I was at our small group on Sunday night, and at the end, they brought up our house. And I broke down crying- the stress and strain, barely under the surface, erupting. After the years of considering God's call on our lives, resigning from a position at a church, going into a new city and a new job, losing one income so that we're struggling with two mortgages with less... it just doesn't seem fair. The way I feel reminds me of something I posted last year about hiding under the blanket fort. Lately, I've gone back into dwelling, to be set, inhabited by, to stay in thoughts. I'm not thinking, taking into account, reckoning on things that are excellent and worthy of praise~ I'm worrying.
My husband has a friend whose wife has written on this same thing this week: letting go of our expectations of perfection and approaching this Christmas season with a sense of expectancy. What is God up to?
Expectancy. I have been fostering expectancy in our home this season, reading through the nights of Advent with my kids. Setting them up to wait, in watchful expectation. So after I broke down at my small group Sunday night, I hurried home to do my Advent reading with my kids and send them to bed. They all gathered around me, and I opened the booklet, and was hit with this reading:
Dec. 19 Watching for Him who is Enough
Habakkuk 2:1, 3:16-19
1 I will stand like a guard to watch and place myself at the tower. I will wait to see what he will say to me; I will wait to learn how God will answer my complaint...
16 I hear these things, and my body trembles; my lips tremble when I hear the sound. My bones feel weak, and my legs shake. But, I will wait patiently for the day of disaster that will come to the people who attack us. 17 Fig trees may not grow figs, and there may be no grapes on the vines. There may be no olives growing and no food growing in the fields. There may be no sheep in the pens and no cattle in the barns. 18 But I will still be glad in the Lord I will rejoice in God my Savior. 19 The Lord God is my strength. He makes me like a deer that does not stumble so I can walk on the steep mountains.
All Advent we stand...looking for our Jesus, looking like a watchman, waiting for our God. And could we say that if the Christmas tree had no gifts and there were no grapes on our plates or chocolate in our stockings, though there may be no food in our fridge nor vacation in our future, though we be stripped of every thing we have in all this glittery world, but would we still be glad in the Lord? If all we have were gone, our God is not gone, and is God really enough?
So is He? Of course this comes to mind (0:16 to 0:26)
There is no I in TEAM
I fail my kids a lot. There. I said it.
I am so tired of having to tell you every day to clean up after yourself. I am not your maid. I am tired of picking up your stuff. I have told you a thousand times. Why are you persecuting meeeeeeeee?
Sadly, I say stuff like that a lot, too.
This is one of the biggest challenges of parenting. You see it in every parenting book. The basic desire of every household is How Do I Get Them To All Pitch In Like A Team?
I worked at a restaurant for a while in my youth, it served well to train me where my own parents had failed. Full hands in, Full hands out. Service with a smile. Treat others nice, because when you need them, you don't want them pissed off at you.
So I have put some stock in the idea that my kids aren't really going to show fruit in this until they reach the point of maturity where they step out of the nest and get a Real Job. Vent that pressure cooker, mom- it's not you, it's them.
Except it is me. There is no I in team, and honestly-- the kids hate listening to me spout off my whines to them. IIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiii just want some respeeeeeeeeeeect.
BTW, truly the secret is good communication, duh. Like, duh. Look at all the great teams-- locker room talks at halftime, the great speeches by commanders on the day of battle. So Mom, remember- inspire them by coming up with a speech like that. Those leaders aren't whining about how taken advantage of they feel. They are infusing the troops with identity, a common purpose, a common goal.
Saturday was a great day here- the house worked like a dream. Why? They woke with a common purpose, a common goal. An identity. They have fabulous guests coming for Christmas and all worked together to get the house clean with nearly no direction on my part. I use moments like this to plan my inspirational speeches for the future. "You can do this, you've proven it in the past. We are a family that works together, and accomplishes much- and remember, many hands make light work- Together Everyone Achieves More!" Rah rah!
I am so tired of having to tell you every day to clean up after yourself. I am not your maid. I am tired of picking up your stuff. I have told you a thousand times. Why are you persecuting meeeeeeeee?
Sadly, I say stuff like that a lot, too.
This is one of the biggest challenges of parenting. You see it in every parenting book. The basic desire of every household is How Do I Get Them To All Pitch In Like A Team?
I worked at a restaurant for a while in my youth, it served well to train me where my own parents had failed. Full hands in, Full hands out. Service with a smile. Treat others nice, because when you need them, you don't want them pissed off at you.
So I have put some stock in the idea that my kids aren't really going to show fruit in this until they reach the point of maturity where they step out of the nest and get a Real Job. Vent that pressure cooker, mom- it's not you, it's them.
Except it is me. There is no I in team, and honestly-- the kids hate listening to me spout off my whines to them. IIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiii just want some respeeeeeeeeeeect.
BTW, truly the secret is good communication, duh. Like, duh. Look at all the great teams-- locker room talks at halftime, the great speeches by commanders on the day of battle. So Mom, remember- inspire them by coming up with a speech like that. Those leaders aren't whining about how taken advantage of they feel. They are infusing the troops with identity, a common purpose, a common goal.
Saturday was a great day here- the house worked like a dream. Why? They woke with a common purpose, a common goal. An identity. They have fabulous guests coming for Christmas and all worked together to get the house clean with nearly no direction on my part. I use moments like this to plan my inspirational speeches for the future. "You can do this, you've proven it in the past. We are a family that works together, and accomplishes much- and remember, many hands make light work- Together Everyone Achieves More!" Rah rah!
Works for Me: DIY Instant Oatmeal "packets"
A quick google search of "make your own oatmeal packets" yields pages of results, most are the same instructions: oatmeal, salt, in a baggie.
That just isn't the same or satisfying.
I bought a carton of quick-cook oats. Pour all but 2 cups into the Kitchen Aid mixer.
Using the whisk attachment, mix in 1 cup brown sugar, 2 tsp cinnamon, 1 tsp cloves, 1 tsp ginger, and 1/2 tsp salt, 1 cup dry milk, and 4 scoops vanilla flavored whey based protein powder, like Muscle Milk. The action of the whisk mixing all the ingredients together will also break down some of the oatmeal to make it more "powdery" which gives the texture mentioned in the other instructions that tells you to whirr some in a blender. By the way, the Muscle Milk makes it taste as rich as the store-bought stuff and increases the protein from 6g to 12g per serving.
I pour all into a large container that sits on my shelf, but you could pour back into the carton the oats came in.
In the morning, either my man or I starts a kettle of water. When it comes to a boil we pour it into a pump operated thermal water dispenser. The oatmeal comes off the shelf next to it. As kids wake up, they can put a half cup of oatmeal mix and then pump some water into it. Let it sit a few minutes to cool off and make a sandwich for lunch or something. When you come back to eat it, the water is absorbed and "cooked" the oatmeal and it's ready to eat!
If you want to take some "to go" then measure a half cup into a round lidded container and pop it in the backpack, and add water when you get to work. No baggies needed.
(sorry there are no pics, I lost my phone.)
That just isn't the same or satisfying.
I bought a carton of quick-cook oats. Pour all but 2 cups into the Kitchen Aid mixer.
Using the whisk attachment, mix in 1 cup brown sugar, 2 tsp cinnamon, 1 tsp cloves, 1 tsp ginger, and 1/2 tsp salt, 1 cup dry milk, and 4 scoops vanilla flavored whey based protein powder, like Muscle Milk. The action of the whisk mixing all the ingredients together will also break down some of the oatmeal to make it more "powdery" which gives the texture mentioned in the other instructions that tells you to whirr some in a blender. By the way, the Muscle Milk makes it taste as rich as the store-bought stuff and increases the protein from 6g to 12g per serving.
I pour all into a large container that sits on my shelf, but you could pour back into the carton the oats came in.
In the morning, either my man or I starts a kettle of water. When it comes to a boil we pour it into a pump operated thermal water dispenser. The oatmeal comes off the shelf next to it. As kids wake up, they can put a half cup of oatmeal mix and then pump some water into it. Let it sit a few minutes to cool off and make a sandwich for lunch or something. When you come back to eat it, the water is absorbed and "cooked" the oatmeal and it's ready to eat!
If you want to take some "to go" then measure a half cup into a round lidded container and pop it in the backpack, and add water when you get to work. No baggies needed.
(sorry there are no pics, I lost my phone.)
SmallWorld: Facebook and Your Teens
SmallWorld: Facebook and Your Teens
I came across this blog today, found this article she has written about Facebook and teens. I am very much like her in much of it-- my kids must be 13, and they are to share with me their passwords. However, I don't care if they want to have their own teen jargon, list friends as siblings, or dye their hair purple- to me these are issues about asserting individuality even if it does appear as group-think to us adults. And don't be fooled by your children who appear to be all goody-goody and follow your strict rules. There are kids who, no matter what you do and how you taught them, will lead a double life and keep secrets from you. They just don't fit your mold but are happy to appear to fit your mold and then lead a double life. Even giving them room to stretch out and find their own mold isn't enough- they still have to hide things. Try not to take it personally.
There is such a fine line between keeping your children safe, and accountable-- and snitching into their business all the time. Would I have continued to use Facebook, when I was a child, if I knew my mother was always going to be barging in and reading anything and everything I had in my message box? How would I have felt as a child, then? Dismissed? Violated? I try to give my children some privacy. When they have a problem, I want them to trust me. And to gain that trust, I have to trust them a bit, but more than that- trust the Lord to hold them in the palm of His hand. I don't have to be so hurt by their choices when I realize that the kid's not mine to control. I'm a parent, not a puppeteer.
That said, I do see Facebook abuse. Teens sometimes abuse and hurt their parents. I don't think they wake up each morning thinking of ways to manipulate us; I think they just don't think through things completely. Narcissism runs high in the teen years. In some personalities more than others. What's a parent to do? In my experience, no amount of pressure, control, nagging, or punishment creates warm fuzzies. Boundaries that are firm and a calm assurance that you really do want a relationship seem to me the most Christ-like route to take. Jesus tells the Rich Young Ruler, the Woman At the Well, the Disciples, "This is who I am, this is what I require, and I love you enough to reach out to you, to come to you, to walk with you." He metes out disciplines and harsh words only to the religious zealots! I'm still a real wimp at this though. My boundaries get trodden upon so that my countenance turns sour, which only tends to cause the teen to point and say SEE? You are just a crazy, irrational, hormonal woman! I don't have to listen to you!
Just smile and wave, boys.... smile and wave. Don't let them see they are ruffling your feathers. Just repeat the boundaries. [I post this just hours after I had my own melt-down. Man, this growing up stuff is hard.]
Just smile and wave, boys.... smile and wave. Don't let them see they are ruffling your feathers. Just repeat the boundaries. [I post this just hours after I had my own melt-down. Man, this growing up stuff is hard.]
How quickly we adapt
My kids are all outside playing. Having a marvelous time. The sun is shiny, the sky is clear and blue. And the white snow is crunchy and the ice slippery. It warmed quite a bit this afternoon, to 21 degrees. Fahrenheit. Which last winter was also known as "Hell froze over."
But since it was 4 this morning, 21 has become downright balmy.
But since it was 4 this morning, 21 has become downright balmy.
Seven Kids, Seven Systems-- System One, Laundry for Littles
Kids rooms are usually a mess.
Too many toys, so many sweaters, dozens of doodads, piles of papers.
This week we moved my daughters' clothes out of the bedroom and back into the laundry room. The girls were overwhelmed with keeping their room tidy, because the naughty clothes liked to jump on the floor whenever our backs were turned. Didn't matter if they were clean or filthy, the clothes all wanted to wallow together, wall to wall.
I did this also when the boys were little. Our 4th child came along when the oldest was only 5 years old. Laundry was quickly becoming a challenge- and there was that problem of the naughty clothes that liked to throw themselves underfoot. We didn't have much space, but there was a small nook in the utility room that was just enough for my scheme. I had my husband put in shelves overhead, and a closet rod at my eye level. From that, I hung a shoe/sweater organizer. On the closet rod I hung the kids' "Nice Outfits" and my daughter's dresses. The shelves above were just right for Sterilite bins for storing out of season or out of size clothing. And the shoe organizer?
Well, each child's clothes were folded into a day's outfit. Socks and undies included. A day's outfit was then placed into a gallon sized zip-loc bag which was then placed into one of the levels of the shoe organizer. I could put each of the 3 boys' bagged-up outfit into each of the 7 levels. Another thing I did was just go ahead and buy the boys all matching outfits so that dirty laundry was a snap, didn't need sorted into colors. The boys could dress themselves easily each morning, placing their empty bag in a hamper.
So now my girls who are 6 and 4 are happily using a similar system. It's not quite the same, since the girls have more opinion than the boys ever did concerning what fashion they pick each morning. But the central location- the laundry room- is the key to the system. Their hamper is there in the laundry room, their dresser sitting in the hallway right outside the laundry room door and just down the hall from the bathroom.
They do help fold. The laundry somehow gets pennies and nickels scattered in it (how about that!) and that keeps them motivated to fold all of it quickly.
This week we moved my daughters' clothes out of the bedroom and back into the laundry room. The girls were overwhelmed with keeping their room tidy, because the naughty clothes liked to jump on the floor whenever our backs were turned. Didn't matter if they were clean or filthy, the clothes all wanted to wallow together, wall to wall.
I did this also when the boys were little. Our 4th child came along when the oldest was only 5 years old. Laundry was quickly becoming a challenge- and there was that problem of the naughty clothes that liked to throw themselves underfoot. We didn't have much space, but there was a small nook in the utility room that was just enough for my scheme. I had my husband put in shelves overhead, and a closet rod at my eye level. From that, I hung a shoe/sweater organizer. On the closet rod I hung the kids' "Nice Outfits" and my daughter's dresses. The shelves above were just right for Sterilite bins for storing out of season or out of size clothing. And the shoe organizer?
Well, each child's clothes were folded into a day's outfit. Socks and undies included. A day's outfit was then placed into a gallon sized zip-loc bag which was then placed into one of the levels of the shoe organizer. I could put each of the 3 boys' bagged-up outfit into each of the 7 levels. Another thing I did was just go ahead and buy the boys all matching outfits so that dirty laundry was a snap, didn't need sorted into colors. The boys could dress themselves easily each morning, placing their empty bag in a hamper.
So now my girls who are 6 and 4 are happily using a similar system. It's not quite the same, since the girls have more opinion than the boys ever did concerning what fashion they pick each morning. But the central location- the laundry room- is the key to the system. Their hamper is there in the laundry room, their dresser sitting in the hallway right outside the laundry room door and just down the hall from the bathroom.
They do help fold. The laundry somehow gets pennies and nickels scattered in it (how about that!) and that keeps them motivated to fold all of it quickly.
Waste-Not Wednesday
my question for you will probably be a good subject for another bog post ;)
how do you balance thriftiness and sustainability with cleanliness/clutter management. this is always hard for me- it seems one can go all "tightwad gazette" and be very thirfty and very eco friendly, but one becomes so un "fly lady" if you know what i mean. i go clutter-purge-crazy, then later wish i had so-and-so thing to do such-and-such..and i am stuck with rebuying said item...so what do you think?
There does have to be some kind of a balance between the hoarding sometimes seen in older thriftier generations and today's mobile consumers. Keeping everything that ever comes across one's hands does not equal thrift or sustainability.
True thrifty sustainability will be a liberating schema: The New Eco, if you will.
The key is letting go of a consumer core value system. There is no need to keep something just in case you need it! Just let go of it. Hoarding materials for myself means keeping resources away from someone else who could be using it. This is one of the reasons Freecycle was in fact a freeing concept for us all in the beginning. It started as people let go of their possessions into the world, so that someone could be finding use in them. Freecycle's downfall was consumers taking over it.
So. Cleanliness and clutter management follows when your mantra becomes, "Do I actually NEED this?" and/or "Do I really love this?" Ask these questions about every little thing you bring into your home. You may need to add, "Do I have space in my home and in my mind and soul for this?" and "Can someone else be using this better than I?"
how do you balance thriftiness and sustainability with cleanliness/clutter management. this is always hard for me- it seems one can go all "tightwad gazette" and be very thirfty and very eco friendly, but one becomes so un "fly lady" if you know what i mean. i go clutter-purge-crazy, then later wish i had so-and-so thing to do such-and-such..and i am stuck with rebuying said item...so what do you think?
There does have to be some kind of a balance between the hoarding sometimes seen in older thriftier generations and today's mobile consumers. Keeping everything that ever comes across one's hands does not equal thrift or sustainability.
True thrifty sustainability will be a liberating schema: The New Eco, if you will.
The key is letting go of a consumer core value system. There is no need to keep something just in case you need it! Just let go of it. Hoarding materials for myself means keeping resources away from someone else who could be using it. This is one of the reasons Freecycle was in fact a freeing concept for us all in the beginning. It started as people let go of their possessions into the world, so that someone could be finding use in them. Freecycle's downfall was consumers taking over it.
So. Cleanliness and clutter management follows when your mantra becomes, "Do I actually NEED this?" and/or "Do I really love this?" Ask these questions about every little thing you bring into your home. You may need to add, "Do I have space in my home and in my mind and soul for this?" and "Can someone else be using this better than I?"
J'aime Paris
Back in high school, I wore the button on my Levi jacket- "J ♥ Paris."
I first was drawn to Paris in the mid 70s, when my grandparents joined Greater Europe Mission and started making arrangements to move to a little place outside of Paris, Voisins-le-Bretonneux.
When I was 11, my parents made the necessary financial sacrifices for my father to accompany me on a visit. I spent glorious days walking down the street to la Boulangerie le matin pour acheter deux pains. Within a week of arriving, I spoke as much French as my grandmother had studied in language school (which is to say, un peu). When I arrived in high school I started French I, where my heavily accented teacher proceeded to teach us in a deep South twang, Bone-djoor, paralay-voo Frown SAY? Mercifully, French II introduced us to a real Frenchwoman and my intonation improved immediately- I've always been a sort of vocal chameleon.
During French IV, I made my second foray into Paris. I slipped effortlessly into le Metro with my classmate Patti as we both found la language sliding easily from our tongues. I'm sure no one confused us with French girls, but we had one experience that complimented our French teacher: a couple had stepped into la boutique de cravates and left promptly when no one answered their demand, "Doesn't anyone speak English around here?" La vendeuse shrugged her shoulders and confided to us, "Les americains!" Patti and I giggled and nodded our assent.
French is being spoken at our house again. My daughter's little friend across the street attends a French immersion charter school- and both my youngest daughters want to go to school with her. They love her little plaid jumper and peter pan collared shirt, they love to hear her speak French with me. The school usually only enrolls kindergartners, but they will give my girl a trial next fall when she enters 2nd grade. I have to get her up to speed with the other 2nd graders by August. My baby will be ahead of the other kindergartners, then. I wanted to go to French school full time so badly. I was able to spend time in Caen, a few weeks in the school with my exchange partner, during French IV, but it was barely enough time to acclimate. I tried to convince my parents to let me move in with my grandparents but they never went for it. So I shall live vicariously through my daughters and send them to a French school.
I entered a blog giveaway today for a 6 volume Paris From the Heart set over at Champagne Living. Go check out her blog- it's full of the kind of frugal stuff that I live for. Just be kind to me, and don't challenge me too much on the giveaway, it's MY turn to win something. Haha.
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| Eating frites at Notre Dame. |
When I was 11, my parents made the necessary financial sacrifices for my father to accompany me on a visit. I spent glorious days walking down the street to la Boulangerie le matin pour acheter deux pains. Within a week of arriving, I spoke as much French as my grandmother had studied in language school (which is to say, un peu). When I arrived in high school I started French I, where my heavily accented teacher proceeded to teach us in a deep South twang, Bone-djoor, paralay-voo Frown SAY? Mercifully, French II introduced us to a real Frenchwoman and my intonation improved immediately- I've always been a sort of vocal chameleon.
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| Joining a hopscotch game outside Sacre Couer- we gave the boys pennies to use as tokens. |
French is being spoken at our house again. My daughter's little friend across the street attends a French immersion charter school- and both my youngest daughters want to go to school with her. They love her little plaid jumper and peter pan collared shirt, they love to hear her speak French with me. The school usually only enrolls kindergartners, but they will give my girl a trial next fall when she enters 2nd grade. I have to get her up to speed with the other 2nd graders by August. My baby will be ahead of the other kindergartners, then. I wanted to go to French school full time so badly. I was able to spend time in Caen, a few weeks in the school with my exchange partner, during French IV, but it was barely enough time to acclimate. I tried to convince my parents to let me move in with my grandparents but they never went for it. So I shall live vicariously through my daughters and send them to a French school.
I entered a blog giveaway today for a 6 volume Paris From the Heart set over at Champagne Living. Go check out her blog- it's full of the kind of frugal stuff that I live for. Just be kind to me, and don't challenge me too much on the giveaway, it's MY turn to win something. Haha.
SAHM or Housewife? Does it matter?
Redux (from 12/9/08)
I almost never hear a peer refer to herself as a housewife anymore. We all call ourselves SAHMs- Stay At Home Moms. The working moms then, are WOHMs, except those who telecommute and are WAHMs. The issue I have with SAHMs is the identity is focused on one role- Mom. When did we women narrow ourselves to one role? And why did the women of a previous generation identify themselves as "housewives"? Is is semantics? In Chapter 3 of To Hell With All That, the feminist author says
consider the etymology. When a woman described herself as a "housewife," she was defining herself primarily through her relationship to her house and her husband. That children came along with the deal was simply assumed, the way that airing rooms and occasionally cooking for invalids came along with the deal....(Flanagan, 46).
Compare this to the central theme of Christian teaching for women- Titus 2. To be busy workers at home, to love our husbands and children. Women used to identify themselves as housewives-- they busied themselves at their home-making and loved their husbands. Children were welcomed and well cared for- and sent out to play from 3 to 6 while mother prepared a meal, indulged in hobbies, rested with a hot tea-or toddy- and primped for her husband's homecoming. Contrast this to the reality of most women in today's liberated feminist society- the SAHM puts her attention and energy into her children, often leaving a messy house and a neglected husband. We somehow thought that rebelling against home and men would lead us to our true identity as women, but what it left us was playing concierge to a legion of demanding, entitlement-mentality brats. From 3 to 6, we are in our cars driving them from one activity to another. The quest for the super-human apparently didn't end with the Third Reich. And todays' women feel their job is done when they have an empty nest (the divorce rate at this point is high)-- or they persist in pouring all their lives into the kids and add the grandkids, to the detriment of their daughters' families as those poor husbands can't compete with the domineering MIL.
But the media pulls the wool over our eyes- encouraging us to continue to pour our resources into children who statistically have become little more than mass consumers (can you imagine 100 years ago, the very idea that a child was a consumer?) and to disdain the husbands and fathers. Prime Time TV in particular likes to subject fathers to foibles and leave them the butt of all jokes. Print ads and tabloids train us through careful marketing to push along this path... leading to where? Families are generally miserable.
But look on the web carefully- women are reclaiming that inner housewife, as the book suggests. Post-feminist women are finding bliss in the domestic. Aprons have come back. Support groups form to put "mama" in the back seat and form an entirely new identity to drive, forging a new path for our daughters. We're teaching our kids to eschew the consumer role, we're teaching them altruism and raise their consciousness of the world around them and encourage them to give rather than get.
What do you think?
Waste-Not Wednesday
It has been a while since I posted anything really eco-friendly, frugal or otherwise. In fact, it's pretty much frustrated me since we started moving last Spring.
Perhaps one of the reasons Americans are more prolific consumers than other cultures is because we are such a mobile society. I don't know. It's an interesting hypothesis- not one I've had time to contemplate, much less research.
I have been rather embarrassed though, by the effects of our move on our personal consumerism and the amount of waste produced. All the years I practiced mindfulness in our old home were just left behind- literally. My compost (I have not been able to find a decent way to compost in this denser urban setting without offending neighbors). All the scraps of wood that I had saved to make something with had to be abandoned- and sadly, some landfilled- rather than order another Penske truck to haul them to Missouri. So much of my furniture had been picked up through the years at yard sales, Craigslist, Freecycle... most of it I let go in a series of garage sales while packing. Not much fits into two 26' Penske trucks. It's probably good for the micro economy though: Austinites were able to pick up some fairly good desks, bookcases, tables, chairs for mere Washingtons and Lincolns. And some Kansas Citians have been able to increase their income as I've shelled out fists full of Grants, Jacksons and even Bens.
Our new house is huge. It feels wasteful to me, extravagant. I have to constantly remind myself of the frequent times I have one, two, three dozen people within. We have a dishwasher- but to be fair, I hate it. Oh how I hate it. I'm just *this* close to putting it on the curb and reclaiming my kitchen- but I'd have to replace the sink, too, because it's just too deep to hand-wash dishes without a chiropractor in the house. I've been doing most of my shopping at Costco- oh Costco, could you possibly package products more prolifically? My recycle bin is brought to you by Costco.
At the risk of wasting any more words or any more of your time, I'll pass the talking stick to you-- in what ways this year have you been way-laid in your quest to creating less waste?
P.S. I found a way to compost here; I'm in a group that is starting a community urban garden in an empty lot. I just have to get my scraps a block and a half up the street to there. I'm also getting set up in a food buying co-op. This should greatly reduce Costco trips.
Perhaps one of the reasons Americans are more prolific consumers than other cultures is because we are such a mobile society. I don't know. It's an interesting hypothesis- not one I've had time to contemplate, much less research.
I have been rather embarrassed though, by the effects of our move on our personal consumerism and the amount of waste produced. All the years I practiced mindfulness in our old home were just left behind- literally. My compost (I have not been able to find a decent way to compost in this denser urban setting without offending neighbors). All the scraps of wood that I had saved to make something with had to be abandoned- and sadly, some landfilled- rather than order another Penske truck to haul them to Missouri. So much of my furniture had been picked up through the years at yard sales, Craigslist, Freecycle... most of it I let go in a series of garage sales while packing. Not much fits into two 26' Penske trucks. It's probably good for the micro economy though: Austinites were able to pick up some fairly good desks, bookcases, tables, chairs for mere Washingtons and Lincolns. And some Kansas Citians have been able to increase their income as I've shelled out fists full of Grants, Jacksons and even Bens.
Our new house is huge. It feels wasteful to me, extravagant. I have to constantly remind myself of the frequent times I have one, two, three dozen people within. We have a dishwasher- but to be fair, I hate it. Oh how I hate it. I'm just *this* close to putting it on the curb and reclaiming my kitchen- but I'd have to replace the sink, too, because it's just too deep to hand-wash dishes without a chiropractor in the house. I've been doing most of my shopping at Costco- oh Costco, could you possibly package products more prolifically? My recycle bin is brought to you by Costco.
At the risk of wasting any more words or any more of your time, I'll pass the talking stick to you-- in what ways this year have you been way-laid in your quest to creating less waste?
P.S. I found a way to compost here; I'm in a group that is starting a community urban garden in an empty lot. I just have to get my scraps a block and a half up the street to there. I'm also getting set up in a food buying co-op. This should greatly reduce Costco trips.
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