Small Changes

Done by each of us, small changes become big changes. If you have followed my blog for any length of time, you've been encouraged here and there to make small changes.  Shopping sacks made of worn out teeshirts; compost systems; driving for fuel economy; raising backyard chickens.

A small change I made in January was retraining the family's dishwashing system. I bought a red dishpan for less than $2, and put it in the left side of the sink. The immediate benefit to the family was that they can pour out cups alongside the pan or rinse their fingers without ruining the rinsewater. This benefit is what sold them at first.  Then I told them that rather than running the rinsewater down the drain after washing, they could pick up the dishpan and pour it outside in the garden. The biodegradable, gentle soap we use is actually good for pest control in the garden.

Once they were pouring water out in the garden, having the dishpan so heavy and full of water was a nuisance.  So I was able to introduce the concept that a full dishpan is not necessary for getting dishes clean.  The goal is to wash all the dishes for a family of 9 with less than 2 gallons of water and only a teaspoon of soap a day, and taking only 30 minutes or so to get it all done. At breakfast, I can fill the right side of the sink with an inch of water and a teaspoon of dish soap, the dishpan on the left side with an inch of water. The dishes generated by breakfast are easily washed in a few minutes. The soapy water remains in the sink-- throughout the day, it's easy to swish any dirty dishes from snacks and they are soon on the dish rack. A very slight rinse to get most of the soap off before dunking the dish in the rinsewater adds water to the soapy side a bit.... but it will need to be a good 3-4" deep by the time we're washing supper dishes.  The rinsewater does need to just be emptied after each meal, it can just be pitched out the front door into the front garden.

Google Reader

Google Reader has been a great way for me to find inspiring and helpful blogs to read.  The thing is, I don't need to tell you what they are. After all, they may not be inspiring or helpful to you. But if you go to Google Reader, it will analyze the blogs you already follow and suggest new ones based on those. The ones it suggests will usually be helpful and inspiring to YOU. See?

Go try it- start by following my blog. ;)

Friday's Follies

1.  Wake up at 8:30 a.m. and return friend's text with a phone call.  She's super surprised to hear from me before 9.
2.  Sit on my computer for 2 hours reading email, Sonlight forums, and cleaning up my FB friends list. My kids all want a turn on computer. I tell them to go find a book or something real to do.
3.  Finally get out of my robe and into yoga pants and shelf-bra cami.  Exercise 30 minutes. Finally starting to feel awake.
4. Take a shower and get dressed-- in a minute! Then maybe I'll start acting like an adult. *blush*

My baby dreads are still growing.....

Culture Club- Do you really want to hurt me?

Jeff and I are studying a new book together, No Perfect People Allowed: Creating a Come-as-You-Are Culture in the Church and attending a class discussion on the book offered at Gateway Church.

Something I like to do when I study is cross-reference; in this case I Googled to find others talking about this book. Here is one blogger describing the book, "Burke tells the story of a small group he's been leading. 10 of the 12 members were completely unchurched. He describes the one previously churched couple as 'a bold new genre of missional Christians who are not content to play church by just huddling up with Christians. They wanted to be in a place where real, worldly people, with real messy lives, were seeing the real God in action. But unfortunately, they represent a minority of churched Christians - Christians who, like the apostle Paul, willingly venture out of their comfort zone into the messy, pagan culture of Corinth or Austin.' Wow - that hurts!" Burke had caught my attention with this, too.

The blogger goes on, "The culture of a church is more important to connecting with unchurched people than the music, preaching or any other ministry. Do new and unchurched people feel welcomed? This sounds like an easy no-brainer, but the cultural gap between pre-Christians and Christians is huge. I've seen this exact phenomena take place during unchurched-churched interactions. The church people don't realize they're pushing the unchurched people away, but they often are."

Sometimes I learn the most from reading the comments to the blog:

Here are a couple of "I thinks" - for whatever such things are worth:

1) I think it is more than "are unchurched people welcome." I think it is "does this body look and feel like Jesus himself?"

2) I think programs are almost irrelevant. Yes, they can draw people; my experience, tho, is that they mostly draw either a) people who are already convinced we have something worthwhile to say or, b) people who really don't want to be there but will put up with it for a time because the program is cool. Nothing has sent us backward as much as growth.

3) I think - though I have no evidence - that the question is "what was it about Jesus that was so attractive to non-religious people? How do we become, together, like that?"

I grew up going to church. I always felt that I was standing just outside of the church culture, looking inward. I never really understood what they were doing-what they were trying to do with their "church hour" each week. What happened between the bookends of the weekly services seemed inconsequential, as long as you set aside "The Lord's Day."  I became jaded as a teen, and rebelled heavily throughout the next 8 years into my early 20s. Then I jumped back into church, determined to find the answer-- but only finding one church culture after another, that still left me feeling like an observer.

I feel that I fit the description Burke noted in this first chapter-- Not Content To Play Church. I've been told I'm incorrigible by my rebellious ideas and behaviors. I have a hard time making and keeping friends inside the church, because honestly living inside the church culture bores me. Leaves me wanting something. I get fidgety, wanting to get out there and do the dirty work that I read about Jesus and the Disciples doing, the work Paul did. Going out there among the people... getting back into the culture.

What does this mean to you?  Do you think that there is a "Church Culture"?  Then how do you define the "feel" of your church? How would an outsider say your church "feels"? What does your church value-- what "environment" do you hope to create?  What would you say to that commenter, who said programs and growth are backward???

Mellifluous Monday

Consider the effectiveness of the church in alleviating need, and be a part of encouraging the faith ministries of Haiti, to help their own people.
Churches Helping Churches in Haiti

Sunday Reading

Weekly Challenge ~ Lingerie

posted by Kelly at Love Lasts a Lifetime - 1 hour ago

Ladies, what does your lingerie drawer look like? Are you wearing the same worn out bras you bought 2 years ago? What about your undies? Functional only or pretty, too? This week's challenge is to tak...

Kenya safari

posted by John Holzmann at John's Corner of the World - 4 hours ago

I left our house on Tuesday afternoon, January 12th, at about 2:30. I was scheduled to take a 5:20 p.m. flight to London's Heathrow Airport. After landing at 9:05 a.m. GMT Wednesday (2:05 a.m. Mountain Tim...

We arrived!

posted by Lincoln and Jenny at LERATO (love) - 13 hours ago

After almost 30 hours of travel we arrived at the the Lighthouse Shelter at about 8:30 pm on Saturday night. Everything went pretty well. We did have a minor hang up at the Denver International Airport ...

Valentine Gift Guide Miscellaneous Items.

posted by Terri at SHE - Schooling at Home Etsians- 20 hours ago

This is the final day of the Valentines Gift Guide. We hope you have enjoyed it and have found some gifts to buy for your loved ones this Valentines Day too! Cute Valentine Clippy Barrettes By:bownhairod...

Widows

posted by Grateful for Grace at Grateful for Grace - 22 hours ago

This verse seems to have set up residence in my mind and spirit. James 1:27- "Religion that God our father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to k...

Ministry among Deaf

posted by John Holzmann at John's Corner of the World - 1 day ago

I'm back from Kenya. (I got back Monday evening.) A whirlwind tour. Maybe someday I will talk about the transportation. (It took from Tuesday afternoon Denver time till Thursday mid-morning Nairobi time [...

Elephants Rule!

posted by Jules at Grrraphics - 1 day ago

I love elephants. Love drawing them. Love reading about them. Love watching them.

Bird Watching

posted by nester at Nesting Place - 1 day ago

Here is A wonderfully detailed slipcover tutorial from Bibbidi Bobbidi Beautiful Such a warm, inviting, calming, layered space that anyone can create @ Get Your Martha On Britt used shower curtain rings fo...

Valentine Gift Guide Paper Crafts

posted by Terri at SHE - Schooling at Home Etsians- 1 day ago

Kissing Couple in Boat silhouette Valentine's Day Card By:Montserrat Little House Of Love Box By:Terrbear37 Love Mints - Valentines or Special Occasion By:klow

I'm Thinking...

posted by Grateful for Grace at Grateful for Grace - 1 day ago

… it might not be a good sign if you consider sitting down for six minutes and listening to Vietnamese music while you have your eyebrows and lip waxed *relaxing*. You could have issues. … it may not be t...

Past

posted by mary grace at BOOKS and BAIRNS - 2 days ago

I mentioned it in passing to my aunt--a round, smiling woman for whom I was named 35 years ago. "I love the way you've kept all your kids' photos. I don't have any pictures from my childhood. My mom got r...

Blog Mobile Reading

posted by Luke at SonlightBlog.com - 2 days ago

I currently used Blogger to power SonlightBlog.com. I like it because it's tied to my Google Account and allows me to connect with others with the same. But there are some things that irk me, especially si...

Oh, Oreo

posted by Being Brazen at Being Brazen - 2 days ago

*“Health food may be good for the conscience but Oreos taste a hell of a lot better.”-*Robert Redford ** *If I had to be a cookie* - I'd want to be an delicious Oreo. *Why?* Well, in so many ways i think ...

Re-Run (felt pressed to repost this)

On Friday, January 6, You Wrote:

This is my blog. This is the place that I can journal out loud, because I have loved ones and acquaintances who nag me for not speaking my heart to them. It is the place I can be transparent. Be real. Today I am going to talk to you about MOMYS. I've been on the MOMYS loop for 10 years or so. It was an offshoot of the Quiverfull digest. I was young and impressionable when I got on that group back in my early 20s when I was newly married and having my first baby or two. I had been a pretty rotten teen and young adult, and I had been desperate to fix my life. I was saved- by that I mean, despite having grown up in a Christian church, memorized Bible verses during my childhood and attended VBS, I felt the Holy Spirit transform me finally at the age of 22. I stumbled into the QF group because DH and I felt very confused and wrong about birth control choices available to us. The Pill is dangerous for women with increased risk of stroke and my grandmothers had trouble with strokes; the IUD is not a contraceptive- it doesn't prevent conception, it prevents a conceptus from implanting. And there is Natural Family Planning, but in our immaturity we misunderstood it, and only joked about "how natural is it to have to abstain when you most want sex?"

Wanting to be good Christians, it was easy for us to fall into the Quiverfull idolatry. The arguments against birth control are well presented, and the concept does flow with a Biblical worldview. The only real problem with a QF mindset is the one-size-fits-all basis. There is never a situation in which birth control can be Godly; any attempt to exert control over your fertility is an attempt to play god on your own. This is legalism. Having babies has become a functional savior for many families, who are so focused on their family that they have become lost in idolatry of their own progeny. I am so sorry that I ever was guilty of this. I am sorry to those I ever criticized or judged over the issue of childbearing. Will you please forgive me?

What I am going to say next must be done. There are thousands of women that I have corresponded with via email, some for twelve years. More of them than not have stepped in shoes that closely resemble mine-- or are just where I was 10 years ago. Ten years ago it was hard for me to listen. I didn't listen when I was 15. I'm just now learning to listen now, at 37. Please skip down right now and listen to the Podcast from Mars Hill Church, it's at the bottom of my site, it's title is "Is Birth Control a Sin?" I cried through most of this sermon. The truth is, I was almost another Andrea Yates. But my husband. He saw, and he acted, and he changed things. He is a wise man, who threw off the legalistic teachers we had been listening to, and he started listening to balanced men who know there is but one god, and his name is Jesus, and our salvation is a gift by grace, through faith, and not by any works we do to make us acceptable.

In December, another tired MOMYS posted to ask how she could continue to have babies without health insurance, without money for food for her table, and the QF answer to that is always, "trust God, he'll give you what you need." And accompanied by testimonies of times this has happened. Hey, it's happened to me, too. God has provided. But some godly older women with 9, 10, 12 children also replied and said, "Having babies won't make you more acceptable to God. If you are having trouble taking care of the ones you already have, it's ok to take measures to wait to have another child." BTW-- if you ever consider writing something like that on MOMYS, be prepared for plenty of emails showing you how you are wrong, being tempted by Satan to have these ideas, and guiding other people astray with your Satanic advice. I piped in and said I had come to the same conclusion, and sadly, was going to tie my tubes for the good of the family we have. MOMYS emails take up to a week to appear on the digest, because one woman reads and approves every post before it is sent out to the 4000+ members. One woman, who was appointed by the past leader. She's a mother of many children, most of them grown to adulthood, and she's held the reigns for many years. By the time my post appeared, I had actually already had the surgery-- but the ladies didn't know that, and my inbox was flooded with 26 emails-- about half admonishments against this Devil-inspired surgery, and about half women who wanted to whisper in my ear that they had done this too, but were afraid to admit it.

I posted to MOMYS on Dec. 29, just asking the ladies to come read my blog post that reveals that God alone actually IS the author of life, just as the QF believers promote. With a twist- it took my having surgery to cut off my fertility for me to see this, and how precious each child is, to the glory of God the Father of all.

A week later, I got this from Tina, The Moderator:
On Jan 6, 2008, at 2:23 AM, tinamomys wrote:
Amy, I'm confused about what the encouragement is to be. Are we
encouraging moms that birth control is ok?
Tina

I wrote back the following. It's been 5 days. I have gotten no further comment from Tina, and she still has not allowed my words to be posted to MOMYS. I'm very sorry that she chooses to so censor that list as to keep so many women blinded to an entirely different point of view. I am posting it here, it will stay here for MOMYS to find. Please, again, forgive me if my legalism or idolatry ever hurt you. Please listen to the very balanced and Biblical sermon on birth control offered by Pastor Mark, in the link at the bottom of my page.

To Tina and the MOMYS:
I really don't know what you mean, Tina, by this statement and wish this not to be an issue of contention. I was thanking those who emailed me when I posted about having a Tubal Ligation. It is not my job to say whether birth control is OK or is not OK. The issue of birth control is much more complicated and requires each family to pray and ask for leading of the Holy Spirit. Interestingly, one of my favorite preachers did a sermon on birth control today -- not at my own church so I haven't heard it yet (check though, I have this podcast feed posted at the bottom of my blog regularly). Maybe even he will tell me I was wrong, I don't know. I do know however, that sometimes we have to make choices for our families that aren't necessarily "best" but are what is needed. I think that "best" for my family includes a lot of things that I cannot afford to do, mentally, spiritually, or physically. I can't even get my children music lessons so that they can minister to the Lord through music, even though I think that hearing my children minister through music would be the next best thing to heaven!

The real problem isn't encouraging moms that birth control is OK. The real thing is encouraging Moms that Salvation is through Christ alone. Jesus alone. Nothing else will save you. Jesus. Jesus, precious Jesus.

And a lot of MOMYS are hurting. Some are hurting because they want the ideal of a large family of obedient, cute children who minister to people in Jesus' name.... but the reality is no food on the table, much less matching jumpers and musical instruments. The reality is that mom can't get out of bed, so she can't train the children who are disobedient, rebellious monsters.... because of lack of training because mom can't get out of bed and dad isn't around because he's working 2 jobs trying to put food on the table. The entire family is under a burden that Jesus never asked them to bear.

I received a lot of emails off the list regarding my tubal ligation. Dozens. Two of them were people pleading with me to reconsider. The rest were all MOMYS who told me that they too, had had a TL, and they understood. One hadn't had a TL, but God had closed her womb after her last child... but she had been so RELIEVED that he had.

The comments I received from other MOMYS included things like:

"I know it's not a popular point of view on the MOMYS list so I wouldn't dare say anything there...."
"Well spoken. Maybe not popular on Momys, but you are right. If we think having babies is making us more acceptable in God's eyes, then we don't understand grace. "
"I love MOMYS as a place where we can honestly share what goes on in bigger families, but it is so important for me to be where I am in the Father, (because He already knows ALL about me) and not be condemned by what others would see as a sin. I don't discuss this on MOMYS, there seems little point and I don't want to endure a bashing. "
"I mean, I like the QF ideal to a degree but sometimes it seems like it has
become an idol unto itself."

Did you read, Tina, what I posted on my Blog regarding what the Lord has taught me through my Tubal Ligation? I wanted all the MOMYS to read this "final update" re: the health insurance and QF lifestyle thread that was started by other momys just like me. It's no longer the top post on my blog, it will have to be found in the archives, posted Friday, December 28. Like it is written, To everything there is a season, and a purpose for everything under heaven. My hurting heart has been so discouraged, that I am such a bad mom because I can't handle this like other MOMYS seem to do so flawlessly. My life is NOT what I thought it would look like back when I first joined the QF and MOMYS loops.... my dozen children were going to be perfect stairsteps with neat clothing and impervious manners. Poster children for the movement. Because it isn't like that, I must be a failure. I must be the wrong mom. I must have it all wrong. God used this to teach me--- he handpicked each child for me. If anything, what he has taught me is that HE really DOES control conception, each one placed miraculously in the womb for His glory alone.

What I don't mention much is that I feel I was completely ensnared by a "functional savior" of having children and raising them "right"... this sacrifice I made would make me acceptable... the QF verse that is thrown around a lot to "proof" the QF belief, to offer yourself as a living sacrifice to make you acceptable. But having children and raising them doesn't make me acceptable, and there is no reason for my family to be suffering so that I can keep up the charade of the perfect homeschool QF family.

I hope you go ahead and put this entire discourse on the List. The women here are capable of discussing such things. Do you really feel right knowing that there are MOMYS on the list who are hurting, but won't dare bring up a topic on the list for fear of being bashed?

The Christian Life is a Life of Repentence, or Dead part 4

Part 1, Dead, explains how I figured out I was dead. Part 2, Waking up, describes life through death. Part 3 is in technicolor.
So there I was.  Realizing that I was just a religious person. I knew better, too.  Lies are twisted so cleverly into our brains that we don't even realize we're being religious-- we think we are being obedient.

I found my journal from 1992 when I was cleaning my room.  [I think that's where I was going when I mentioned my floor....]  In my journal are such gems as these:

March 6, 1992.  Lord, I am yours. I am your child. Lead me down your path of righteousness. Show me your way, Lord. Give me hope and love and trust, and understanding. I know you are preparing me to do your will, and I am ready to follow. Not my will, but yours be done.

May 3, 1992.  I have several fears: among them are failure, uselessness, and being a disappointment. I'm so afraid that everyone looks down on me...I can only pray for wisdom. Guidance.... I fight weariness and discouragement. I fight to keep Christ in the center.

May 27, 1992.  I search my own heart for surrender to the Lord for my life. It's so hard to just "let go...let God." I am so pulled by the flesh.

July 28, 1992.  "And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ--to the glory and praise of God." Philippians 1:9-11

Oct. 14, 1992.  In D-group we exchanged Bible verses...I studied the one given to me, Jeremiah 29:11, "'For I know the thoughts that I think toward you,' says the Lord, 'thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.'" These words were written by the prophet Jeremiah to the captives in Babylon; he was telling them the Lord wanted them to accept their captivity as His will, to build houses, have children and grandchildren, plant gardens and eat their fruit. And to remember that God is in control and He was preparing the way for them to be delivered from captivity.

Nov. 22, 1992.  I haven't recorded the friendship...[I have with] Jeff. My friend Jeff is so dear to me. He and I prayed, putting our relationship in the hands of God. And since then, such a love for each other and for the Lord--Thank you Lord for the joy I find in you. I pray that your joy will always be greater in my life than the joy I get from any man.

Tonight I was listening to my Mars Hill sermon vodcast.  I figured out why I couldn't get my mind back on the track of what I'd been talking about on my blog-- I had not been getting this teaching for a few weeks. Busy-ness had kept me from keeping up with my iTunes. This sermon is one of his shortest-- only 28 minutes.  Please take the time to watch it.

So where was I?

I was telling a story about finding myself, my faith, my role in community.  Then I went to my best friend's birth and her baby died and I organized everything and missed one kid's birthday and tried to make Christmas and kept helping out my friend and had New Year's and school started back and then another birthday.

In the middle of all that, I decided to take all the furniture out of my bedroom, rip out 24 year old carpet and put down a new laminate floor.  Don't get me wrong, it was worth it. And a long time coming- it was the last snatch of carpet in the house, and we bought the laminate floor over a year ago.

 I also finally got dreadlocks started, after years of wanting to do it. A lot of people want to know why- "Because it's cool" just doesn't sound deep enough for a process that can take a long time to complete and is hard to reverse.  So deeper-why.....  I've always felt that I was prideful of my hair, honestly.  I've also hated it, at the same time. I am always doing different stuff with it, playing with it as if it were an art medium- which it is, to some extent. Just one way to show our creativity.  I've always been fascinated by dreadlocks, but was always afraid that others wouldn't like it. In the end, I'm learning that it's not so important to worry all the time that others won't like you.  You can be assured, actually, that most people won't like you! But there are people you will touch just by being... You.

Thanks for sharing

if I offer, and you don't accept/take it, have I shared?
Does sharing imply only my willingness to give?
Or does sharing put a burden on the receiver to accept?
I know the giver gets credit for being willing to share....
but isn't one left feeling empty when the offer is rejected?
And isn't one left feeling foolish when the gift is scoffed?