If you strike them, they will not die. Strike them, and spare their souls.

I used to spank, but apparently I was a very bad parent because my results were the opposite of what is claimed by Tedd Tripp and other Bible teachers is the "peaceable fruit of righteousness." I followed the advice/teaching of these biblical leaders when I performed spankings on my kids- without emotion, matter-of-fact, informing the child of the sin, performing the swat, then restoring the child to fellowship; every time, without delay; consistently.

This led to much conflict in my head, my heart and in my house.

I felt horrified at continuing to spank since it clearly gave me the wrong results. I felt horrified not to spank because all the church leaders teach that it's a sin not to spank your kids. "If you love your child you will chastise them promptly."

Then I read Clay Clarkson's book Heartfelt Discipline. He has a chapter explaining the original text and how it was interpreted to mean spanking children. He points out that yes, the verses do say to hit upon the back or buttocks with a rod-like instrument. His argument however is over the word being translated "child." This "child" is, by all other uses of the word in the Bible, at least 8 years old and into young adulthood. And the one being hit with the rod is a "fool" who despises teaching and wisdom and openly rebels.

My conviction is that there is no Biblical, moral, or intelligent reason to strike a child under the age of 8. And children between the ages of 8 and 18 must be treated carefully, in a Christ-like way- with honor and grace. In cases of severe foolishness or rebellion, there is definitely a place for serious consequences--- but in our culture, beating is unacceptable. Like blood sacrifice and stoning. Those are in the Bible but no one would consider them alternatives today.

So I don't spank and will not. But I choose it from conviction and have to willfully remind myself that it's not an option. I admit I am tempted to; years of conditioning are hard to overcome.

Sometimes I feel helpless to deal with my kids because I can't beat them, but the Holy Spirit reminds me that beating wouldn't work anyway and there are better responses-- such as prayer and fasting, and fellowship and grace and love.